Liberei Mei
by Minaphobic
Summary: yaoi implied SeiferX Squall Faith. Love. Devotion. Is it a weakness inside? Those who often doubt themselves have everything to lose. Seifer experiences this firsthand.


Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except the story.  
Song by Megadeth "When"  
  
  
  
No one hears a word I say  
And my prayers are never answered  
  
  
I cry out for help. For Squall. I am lost in the darkness within my mind. Something evil is trying to get in.   
I pray to hyne that squall will save me.  
  
  
But you'll never see the pain inside of me  
Stabbing me over and over and over  
  
  
The evil invades my mind. My thoughts, memories, and dreams are left bare to it. I fight against the   
intrusion only to be met with wave after wave of pain. Every pore in my body screams. Yet all I can think about   
is Squall. Where is he? Why is he not here?  
  
  
I trusted you and I loved you  
And you spit back in my face  
How could you do this to me  
  
  
Why have you forsaken me, Squall! I break down and cry within myself. I hear someone laughing at me.  
I look up at a being from which evil grasps to like a child would their mother. I pulled myself together determined  
not to show any weakness in front of anybody, human or monster. The laughter stops.  
  
As my eyes began to focus the image flickers between a strange woman and Squall. Then as if finally   
deciding the latter, Squall stood before me. Blue gray eyes stormed with the promise of pain and humiliation.   
I stepped back in shock, before I could stop myself. He laughs at me. I recover quickly to glare at him.   
  
His mocking laughter fades from his throat, but it remains in his eyes. "I know your secret, Seifer."   
My heart jumps into my throat. He can't know. Nobody but me knows. "What secret?" My voice coming out a   
little more rough and unsure than I intended it to. An arrogant smirk crossed his face. "I know your secret and it   
disgusts me. How could I love someone like you." His voice sounded as vicious as his eyes looked. I felt my eyes   
sting from tears that I forced to be unshed. My heart would not let go of his words. My tears would not hold out   
much longer. I dropped to my knees.   
  
"Why are you doing this to me." I hated the sound of my voice. It was weak. I am not weak, yet   
something pealed away my barriers and twisted my dreams. Squall reached out his hand to me. "I will stay with   
you forever if you become my knight." Squalls words confused me, but the promise in them wrapped me in warmth.   
I stared at his hand not knowing what to do or how to react.   
  
This was my dream. My hand united with his hand. A feeling of power overwhelmed me. Suddenly the   
image flickered back to that strange woman. Then back to Squall. Then they were the same. I didn't know what   
was happening. Something made me blind to the danger of the situation, but it was to late. I felt bound to the   
image before me. Nothing could take me away from Squall.   
  
  
When will you stop trying to hurt me  
I've walked a minefield for you  
A career in hell with you   
I have made it though the things   
Others would surely die just watching  
  
  
Since that day, I have done everything you told me to do. All the innocent people that I killed for you.   
What have I done to deserve the pain you give to me? You pull me into your embrace only to tell me how weak   
and pathetic I am. Stop messing with me. How much more do I have to give?  
  
Now I have to deal with the Seeds from Garden. How dare they turn against us. Quistis, Zell, and   
someone else with a gunblade. He looks familiar, but my eyes won't focus on his face. Suddenly it becomes   
clear…Squall. I try to yell out to him, but my mind is taken over again. I see them all fighting me. I don't want   
to hurt them. I don't want to hurt Squall.   
  
It was all a lie. I was used by this evil and I can't stop it. Finally the battle is over. I am so happy to be   
defeated, but the evil is furious. I hope to die, but it won't let me go. It used my dreams against me. I have been   
though hell for nothing. Slowly the memories of the battle and the truth fade from my grasp. The evil still has   
plans for me.  
  
  
And the oath I take on this day  
Is to know that you will be repaid  
One day the sun will die and the night will crawl  
Until then, until I see you world implode  
I wish you death and suffering  
Misery to Spare   
Time to release your pain  
  
  
Finally I have been defeated for the second time. The evil can't hide the truth from me. I see   
everything clearly. Edea was posessed by Ultimecia. I am her Knight. This is not what I want. For all my pain,   
I wish to see Ultimecia dead. Who better to do it than Squall. Even if I get brought down with her. I know that   
when she is dead then my mind can truly be mine again. I wish to be free, but she will continue to use me until   
she is defeated for good.   
  
Now that I know the truth, she doesn't hide behind the image of Squall. I feel tainted and betrayed by   
my own thoughts. Every time I was in his arms, it was really her. It is about time for my revenge. I only hope I  
will be around to see it. I know Squall won't let me down.  
  
  
Face the last enemy  
I am the last thing you will see   
I see your death surrounding me  
I know you, Yes I do  
I know you  
  
  
The last battle is over, at least for me. I feel Ultimecia draw into the depths of my mind. She is still   
there, but I have some control now. I am very exhausted. I lay on the floor with my arm over my eyes. I feel   
much needed sleep crawl slowly over my mind.   
  
Then suddenly I feel myself being dragged. I took my arm down to come face to face with Fujin. Raijin   
was the one dragging me. "SAFE" Fujin's voice never felt so comforting. "We must get out of here before we get   
into trouble, ya know" Raijin's voice was the last thing I heard before sleep took me. At least I know I am finally   
safe in the company of my two best friends.  
  
My dreams reflected the damage Ultimecia had inflicted on my mind. She would not release our bond.   
I felt everything she did. I woke up screaming. She was in a lot of pain. The finally battle must have begun. My   
revenge was near. I felt so happy, but she was determined to bring me down with her. I couldn't help but to curl   
up in a ball on the bed. The pain was unbearable.   
  
Fujin appeared by the bed. Panic clearly shown on her face. I almost forgot about them rescuing me.   
I would have to thank them later, if there was a later. Right now the pain was too intense to even think straight   
let alone talk. Raijin ran to my side and started casting cure. It felt cool over my skin, but it did not help. Finally   
he gave up and cast sleep on me. I tried to stop him, but I fell into the darkness almost immediately.   
  
Being awake with the pain was so much better than facing the dreams within my tangled mind. In here,   
I was faced with Squalls death. It was Ultimecia's favorite method of torturing me. The only one that hurt me   
more than anything else she ever did.  
  
There is blood all over the ground and on my hands. Red tears flood from my eyes. There is so much   
blood. I knell beside his body. Slowly I pull him into my embrace. He was still beautiful, even in death.   
  
Suddenly everything is distorted. Ultimecia is calling me. She is almost dead. I start to fade. What the   
hell is happening to me? I am somehow pulled into time compression. I appear next to her. Squall is no where   
around. Her eyes are asking for help. Finally, the tables have turned. I look at her with danger and hatred in my   
eyes. She knows now that it was a mistake to call upon me, but it is too late. I take my gunblade and plunge it   
into her black heart. The pain that follows is almost too much to bear, but it is worth it to see her dead. I take a   
moment to burn the memory into my mind before I twist the blade. Her body goes limp. My nightmare is over.   
  
I can't hold myself up any longer. I black out. I feel something pushing me in the side. I open my eyes   
to find myself back on the bed with Fujin sitting in an old green chair beside the bed and Raijin standing beside her.   
I sat up franticly. I search my mind hoping that she was really dead and not just another twisted dream. I start to   
relax after I am satisfied she is really gone.  
  
I smiled at Fujin. "Things are going to be different." I said mostly to myself. They both smiled at me. I   
laid back down in the soft bed. When I get everything back together with my mind, I am going to go see Squall.   
He may hate me, but life is too short to forget about your dreams. I am determined not to let him go until I show   
him a couple of mine. Some of which I am sure he will enjoy.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I can't believe I am done with this part. I don't know if I should continue or not. It was very hard for me to write   
this. I am not very confident in my writing. Maybe if I get enough good reviews I will continue.  
I might continue anyway, I want to try to write a lemon. :-)  
  
Thanks for reading my story. 


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